Equipping Thoughts

• Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments. One discipline always leads to another discipline. ~Jim Rohn

• Remember that what you believe will depend very much on what you are. ~ Noah Porter

As I evaluate my heart and life before the Lord, He reminds me to focus on who I am “behind the curtains” of my motives, internal beliefs, convictions and thoughts. If I desire to be authentically changed by Jesus, it’s got to start with an honest eval of who I am, who I am not, who I need to become in Him. This will be, in part, determined by what Noah Porter quotes. Then comes the discipline. That’s why I am being stirred by what Jim Rohn quotes.

Don’t you love being challenged to the core?!

In an “anonymous” email question that came to me regarding the desires and expectations of a wife, I replied by asking, “How would you like to be treated - what do you expect from your husband?”

Here’s “Mrs. Anonuymous’” reply…

To Pastor Rod,
Here is a list of what wives(women)want. This is some of the things I wrote down, what came to mind.If anything seems not Godly or inappropriate. Please let me know. Let me know what you think about this. I know definitely these things will improve marriages in more ways than one. This comes from someone who has been married for 23
years, and has spoken to other women on this subject.

1. Wives want husbands to act on the word of God in their marriages(#1 thing)

2. Wives want to be asked out on a date by her husband (dinner,hiking etc. not movies where you can’t converse) For me dinner since, no cooking, no cleaning up. Husbands make all the arrangements, consider ROMANCE. Remember how you felt when you first started dating, flirted,etc. (at least 2x a month).

3.Wives want to be acknowledged as being important in tne household. (believe me we do a lot in the house to keep it running).

4.Wives want to be looked at by her husband as a woman not just a wife (meaning husbands really look at your wife and see her beauty). Tell her about it frequently.

5.Wives want to be called sweetheart or babe or some sweet thing.(see what happens when you do this)

6.Wives want their husbands to help around the house without being asked. Like, put kids to bed,pick up cups, laundry etc… Especially cook dinner at least 2x a month(think how many years wives have been cooking, do the math).Plan it. *Go grocery shopping at least 1x a month for family ( wives have at least gone groceries so many times especially if married 20 years or more).

You would think after over 22 years of marriage that I would have learned to control my anger when I get frustrated. I can honestly say that there are many times where I blow up at my beautiful Beckie or kids for silly or small, manini-kine reasons.

I’m still learning that I need to…
Look out for:
~ Other things bothering me in life (relationships, work, people that irritate me).
~ Being tired and overworking.
~ Being frustrated within myself, because of myself (failing, falling short of expectations I have of myself)
~ Not getting proper rest
~ Feeling “junk” about myself (looks, comparing myself with others)
~ Not getting adequate exercise
~ Expecting my wife or kids to be or act or live according to “My ways and desires.”

I’d better stop there before I get too down on myself! I’m so thankful for the conviction God gives me in my heart to ask for forgiveness and grace from Him, my Beckie and kids. I am also very-very grateful for their grace and love for me - the imperfect husband and father that I am. My hope is in Jesus, to transform my life…day to day!

Thanks for your unconditional love Jesus… and Honee!

A man wrote me…”My wife is a gossiping woman - she is unloading her problems about other people at work…on ME!”

My response:
You are her shepherd - her spiritual covering and leader. Coach her into spiritual victory. That may mean listening to her so you can pray, assess and advise her in the way of the Lord. Not an easy thing to do when she is grumbling and complaining about others - but this is our responsibility as husbands.

Try not to shut her down, but allow her to talk - hopefully, as freely as she talks, she will freely listen to you as her husband. But if you don’t allow her to vent and talk, you won’t be able to properly guide her towards Christ if she is wrong in any way.

Her talking to you is a good thing. She could be taking her woes, complaints, gossips…outside of your relationship which is not good. Be her coach and overseer. So my counsel…listen, assess…then advise her to live our her faith according to what God desires and requires.

Proverbs 15:23

A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!

Growing up, the “true test” of courage, toughness and masculinity was how well you fared in a fight. How fun that was!!!!
~ NOT! Peer pressure, insecurities and a part of me that wanted to prove myself led me to brawl. It was great when the other guy was chicken - but not so great when he was tough and unafraid.

Too often, Christians - people who genuinely love the Lord and desire to follow God by loving others, fall into the trap of brawling with one another. It comes in deadly, sneaky forms like gossip - talking stink about others, disagreements that lead to bitterness - or what about “cold shoulders” and avoiding people you don’t like? The results can poison a community of sincere people who want to grow in Christ, but get disillusioned because someone gets hurt and begins to fight with gossip and bad attitudes and behavior.

Philippians 1:27

• But whatever happens to me, you must live in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ, as citizens of heaven. Then, whether I come and see you again or only hear about you, I will know that you are standing side by side, fighting together for the Good News.

Paul was imprisoned but not embittered. He was a leader who encouraged Christians to FIGHT!
Of course! Fighting TOGETHER, not against each other!

Are we standing side by side with the family of God? Even those who have hurt us, avoided us, talked about us behind our backs, given us funky looks…???

Today, I will choose to Fight…not to prove myself for pride sake, attention, to be accepted or selfish gain. Today, I choose to stand side by side with fellow family and soldiers of Christ, to FIGHT and BRAWL together for the GOOD NEWS!

Knock knock Rod…are you there?

Yes…I’m here. It’s been a month since I’ve touched my blog - oh…for some good reasons. My parents took my sisters family and our family on a trip to Anaheim!! And you know who’s in Anaheim??? Yes…Mickey, Minnie and the Disney gang! One highlight of our trip was also visiting wiht my aunties, cousins and new second cousins. Ah-h-h-h-h…the family bonding and building time. I was awakened once again to the importance of being with family - my family, parents, sisters family and brother, not to mention the extended multitudes of relatives in LA, CA! The roller coaster rides were fun and exhilerating, but no comparison to the joy and love of being with family!

The Lord has been knocking on my heart…”Knock Knock Rod…are you listening to ME?” Here’s what I hear Him saying to me the past several weeks:

1. Your busyness does not mean you are doing My will.
2. While doing your devotions, listen to how I desire to change your life. Be careful not to just read my Word - meditate on My Word!
3. Your wife and children were given to you to steward, grow in relationship with and to build their relationship with Me. So - be careful to spend time with them - when you are home.
4. Build disciples while building leaders. Disciples is what I’ve called you to make.
5. Don’t give up caring and loving when no one is looking. Watch that motive - don’t serve to be seen!
6. Be refreshed in knowing that I love you based on the sacrifice of My Son, not on your works. I accept you unconditionally.

It’s good to be back on line with God and you. Knock, Knock…are you answering His call?