Equipping Thoughts

In this season of my life, I’ve never been more motivated to improve. To improve my relationship with God, attitude, roles as husband, father, leader and servant. To improve my quality of life, health and gifts. The desire and willingness to improve in life has increased immensely since moving back to Hawaii 8 years ago, rubbing shoulders and hearts with Pastor Wayne and the people of New Hope! There is an incredible heart attitude amidst the servants of New Hope. I think we are trying to live out one of our Core Values…God is worthy of our very best, therefore a spirit of excellence should permeate everything we do (and everything we are!).

As leaders, our goal is to ultimately please God first, not people. Many of us get trapped by being people pleasers, limiting our forward movement and progress. Some leaders fear change for fear of complaints and unsatisfied people.

A willingness to improve will always require change. I’m so glad I’ve upgraded my computer along the way from 18 years ago. If I were unwilling to change or satisfied with what I had, my productivity would be greatly hindered. I love the “Mac” God provided! See if some of my thoughts below can benefit you to adjust your attitudes and convictions towards helping people through change.

1. Believe in people to make necessary changes. Be positive communicating the “why’s” and potential fruitfulness.
2. Believe in the “whys” of your direction to change. Especially when the change is direction from your leadership. Be sure to own the heart and the conviction of your leadership during change. This is a must…very critical! Under shepherds or leaders (middle management) can spoil the hearts of others if their hearts aren’t right! I can’t over emphasize this one!!
3. Be willing to listen to others along the way. Don’t be stubborn about listening to resistance. Others resistance may contribute elements that could sharpen the pathway to change. In other words, be OPEN to CHANGE too.
4. Decide not to compromise your convictions to make others happy. Maintaining healthy relationships is essential but not at the expense of compromising your conviction to lead others through change.
5. Be consistent to evaluate everything and everyone involved to progress towards God’s very best.
6. Upgrade towards improving people, productivity and programs.
7. Make it your desire to make God happy by leading people through change that will produce
8. Help people to understand the purpose behind the change. They may not always agree but the communication will build healthy relationships.
9. I must be willing myself, to step aside for other ideas, people to lead through change - as it is appropriate. Sometimes leaders aren’t willing to lay their lives (ways, thoughts, plans) down to make room for a better plan, idea or direction. That attitude may have a little to do with PRIDE.

Lord…help me to hear Your voice to lead others to grow in their relationship with You, through change. Help me to always be willing to improve through change. Change me O’ Lord!

In a conflict I was mediating, one person saw only one solution, the other person saw another solution - both leading to different results. “You don’t see any other alternatives?” I asked. “If there was another possible solution, would you both consider working towards resolution?”
My way or the highway attitudes can poison people and teams. Holding on to “your way or idea” as the best answer or solution can be endangering.
Conflicts will occur on teams. Differing views, opinions, ideas and solutions to challenges are a part of diversity. There are 3 ways or attitudes to choose from.
1. My way.
2. Your way.
3. The “Win-Win” way.
The Win-Win alternative may very well be the other answer or solution. It may be the better way - maybe even better than my way.

1. W - Welcome others ideas with an open heart.
2. I - Initiate solutions beyond your preferences & likes.
3. N - Never say never. In other words, don’t think and speak your mind about an idea being stupid or never working before hearing all the facts and giving thought and time.

Romans 14:19
Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.

31.) Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch with them.

32.) Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

33.) Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. God provides remember?!

34.) The best is yet to come. (in Heaven)

35.) No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

36.) Do the right thing!

37.) Call your family often.

38.) Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: ‘I am thankful for __________. ‘ Today I accomplished _________.

39.) Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

40.) Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

21.) You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22.) Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

23.) Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24.) Ladies - Go on and burn those ’special’ scented candles, use the 600 thread count sheets, the good china and wear our fancy lingerie now. Stop waiting for a special occasion. Everyday is special.

25.) No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26.) Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27.) Forgive everyone for everything.

28.) What other people think of you is none of your business.

29.) Time heals almost everything. Give time, time!

30.) However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

I love the comments I received from Charles and Brian, 2 faithful servants and leaders at New Hope!

1. Charles Ching Says:

This is really good stuff. Right to the heart. Sometimes
you see and hear so many things that goes on that shouldn’t. But no matter what. You focus on the Lord and be humble. If you have a deep love for people. You over look many things and accept it. I look at all the wonderful things He has placed before me. More so the people that he has placed in my life. My greatest joy were in the people and to have them smile and sharing my joy with others. It’s all about relationship with others and our Lord. Just remember why and whom you’re doing it for. What would he say or do. You’ll be okay.

Brian Kaneshiro Says: 
A thought that came to my mind as I read the other comments is that team decay is more likely to happen if we stop working on team building. It is very difficult to do both. If our focus is upon how we can build the team each time we get together, then we are less likely to do the things that would cause team decay.
Something that I need to pray about as to how to team build.

Team Decay?
A team that’s decaying consists a group of people who have lost their trust in one another. What’s a quick way to rotting relationships - seed mistrust into the heart of your team. This applies to any relationship whether it be in church, business or at home. The lack of trust burns quickly into lost of trust. Then communication goes sour. Why does communication go sour? There are many reasons aren’t there? But we know that broken communication adds to broken trust, leading to broken relationships, leading to team decay.
Team Decay happens when:

1. You feel like you aren’t being heard and you take offense. Hurt feelings lead to hurt relationships if not addressed.
2. Someone has talked about you behind your back, you find out and you harbor ill feelings.
3. You talk about a team member behind their back. When you say things to others about a person that you don’t have the courage to speak to them face to face. Ouch!
4. You are silent about a discussion or decision when you should’ve at least shared your thoughts or feelings. Now you respond with a silent, cold heart.
5. When we undermine authority. Being a grumbler, discontent with your role, responsibility, lack of compensation (whether in pay or affirmation - we all like to be compensated with affirmation or a reward of some kind), when we don’t get our way, our idea was not considered or used, etc.
6. When teams develop “cliques” among themselves. Internal competition arouses pride. Pride feeds self centeredness and opposes team unity.
7. When co leaders or second or third tier leaders want to vie their way into “position” and can tend to develop different camps or cliques among the team.
8. When territorial attitudes develop.

Lanu’s Comment:
Amazing blog! Sometimes the one initiating the decay don’t realize what a hand they have in causing team decay because they are too busy pointing out everybody’s faults except truly honestly assessing themselves….so they will think team decay is everybody elses fault except their own.
I know as I was there big time!!!! I think if you aren’t actively building a team (meaning loving one another, embracing one another, getting in there and plowing together) then if we have courage to be truthful within, are we causing division by grumbling and mumuring?…that is the one of the biggest detriments to a team….anyways, thank you Pastor Rod for your amazing blogs that really equip us and make us think!!!!!

Malia (my 12 year old Princess) & I read Proverbs 17 this morning in the NIV, NKJ and NLT versions. We stopped at the verses that stuck out to us and talked about how they apply to our family situation and lives right now and what we are each going through. Here’s a few verses that stuck out to us.

Do they stick out to your heart? Can you apply them to your life today? How do they apply?

1 Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. (NIV)

5 Those who mock the poor insult their Maker;? those who rejoice at the misfortune of others will be punished. (NLT)

14 Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate,? so stop before a dispute breaks out. (NLT)

22 A cheerful heart is good medicine,? but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. (NLT)

 24 Sensible people keep their eyes glued on wisdom,? but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth. (NLT)

27 He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.
28 Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive. (NKJ)

11.) Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat Blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli , almonds & walnuts.

12.) Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13.) Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14.) Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15.) Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class ……but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16.) Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17.) Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18.) Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

19.) Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20.) Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

It’s unfortunate at times when we receive so many emails - they are great, but long, and we have more emails to open, read, cruise & sort through — emails galore. Here’s an email that I almost deleted, but as I read through, I heard a voice within my heart, saying, “Live, Love, Laugh…on Purpose Rod!” Here’s part 1 of 4. Enjoy…and live, love, laugh…on purpose!

1.) Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate Antidepressant.

2.) Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3.) Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and Get more sleep.

4.) When you wake up in the morning complete the Following statement, ‘My purpose is to________Today. ‘

5.) Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6.) Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did last year.

7.) Always pray and make time to exercise.

8.) Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of Six.

9.) Dream more while you are awake.

10.) Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.

This is an email I sent to leaders a month or so ago. — so let me ask myself again…#1-5!!

Hello Team Shepherds of New Hope:

Check this quote by one of our exemplary volunteer leaders, Tom Mick, who leads our Usher Ministry.

“I believe that there are two things that are most important for all ministries - these two things are Communication and Relationships. If you don’t have these two elements, your ministry will definitely suffer - in fact, any ministry or job/ work location needs these two items. If you don’t have them, your work/serving is adversely affected, as is morale.”

So I’ve asked myself:

1. How do I rate myself in overall effectiveness in these 2 areas?
2. How can I improve my communication or relational skills?
3. Who can I hold myself accountable to, to live out my desired goals (action plan) to improve?
4. Are there any particular people I need to develop better communication with?
5. Are there any particular people I need to develop better relationships with?

Always growing,
Rod