Equipping Thoughts

Malia (my 12 year old Princess) & I read Proverbs 17 this morning in the NIV, NKJ and NLT versions. We stopped at the verses that stuck out to us and talked about how they apply to our family situation and lives right now and what we are each going through. Here’s a few verses that stuck out to us.

Do they stick out to your heart? Can you apply them to your life today? How do they apply?

1 Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. (NIV)

5 Those who mock the poor insult their Maker;? those who rejoice at the misfortune of others will be punished. (NLT)

14 Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate,? so stop before a dispute breaks out. (NLT)

22 A cheerful heart is good medicine,? but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. (NLT)

 24 Sensible people keep their eyes glued on wisdom,? but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth. (NLT)

27 He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.
28 Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive. (NKJ)

It’s unfortunate at times when we receive so many emails - they are great, but long, and we have more emails to open, read, cruise & sort through — emails galore. Here’s an email that I almost deleted, but as I read through, I heard a voice within my heart, saying, “Live, Love, Laugh…on Purpose Rod!” Here’s part 1 of 4. Enjoy…and live, love, laugh…on purpose!

1.) Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate Antidepressant.

2.) Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3.) Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and Get more sleep.

4.) When you wake up in the morning complete the Following statement, ‘My purpose is to________Today. ‘

5.) Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6.) Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did last year.

7.) Always pray and make time to exercise.

8.) Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of Six.

9.) Dream more while you are awake.

10.) Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.

Twenty two and a half years of developing an intimate relationship - Thanks Jesus!!!
Intimacy in friendship, communication and OH YES…SEX! Not to embarrass Beckie or myself, but there are few out there willing to be real and honest about this area of intimacy. When spouses hide their weaknesses, problems and feelings regarding their physical intimacy, I’ve seen many “seemingly great marriages” result in loneliness and divorce.

SEX is obviously awesome (for men) and most women when they are romanced with genuine affection. SEX is Fun and Holy…when a husband and wife give of themselves to this physical act of intimacy…BUILT upon a strong spiritual and emotional intimacy in their MARRIAGE! Yes - SEX is Fun and Holy in Marriage!

UnHoly Sex is dangerously sinful and WILL reap long lasting, detrimental side effects in the hearts and minds of those who give themselves to it. Is unholy sex just defined by fornication; 2 people not married engaging in sexual activity? I don’t believe so. To me, sex in marriage can be unholy when it’s not built on true, Godly intimacy in relationship outside of the bedroom. For a wife to be an object of sexual acts can be far from holy intimacy. I’ve known of men who “use”their wives for sex - how unholy is that!!! Marriage is honorable and so must wives be honored!!

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

I think there’s more to come on this subject from the heart of Rod & Beckie To our married friends…have fun, be intimate…often…make intimacy a lifestyle. The benefits for you husbands, are Outstanding!

Remember Mrs. Anonymous - the lonely married woman? Her prayers are being heard and answered!!

Thanks Mrs. Anonymous…for following up with your great report. God is real, alive, cares and loves us, and ANSWERS PRAYER!! Watch out husbands. God is listening to the prayers of lonely, hurting wives. They are His princesses - His daughters! Lonely ladies…be patient and enduring - DON’T GIVE UP!!

Here’s an excerpt from Mrs. Anonymous’ email.

Hi Pastor Rod, Its so God after I wrote that e-mail to you, on what woman want from a husband, all the things I listed started to happen in my marriage.

I know now that we have to invest in our marriage and honor this day we got married every year, Last year I forgot! Also, I looked at myself and God spoke to my heart that I have to honor my husband also, encourage and thank him for even little things he does and I don’t notice it or take it for granted. Also I need to be for real and see that I hate to say it, Spoiled! Die to self!

Here’s the second half of “Mrs. Anonymous’” email to me. This list prompted, provoked and promoted my heart to step it up as a husband. Mrs. Anonymous helped me to evaluate my role, call and practical ways to keep my Beckie as the apple of my heart!

I’m praying for all the Mrs. Anonymous’ out there! …and for the husbands who are neglecting their call, role and responsibilities - C’mon men - let’s get off our butts and live it up with our precious gift!!

Here’s the list…
7. Plan a vacation together for only the 2 of you for sometime when
you can go off together.

In an “anonymous” email question that came to me regarding the desires and expectations of a wife, I replied by asking, “How would you like to be treated - what do you expect from your husband?”

Here’s “Mrs. Anonuymous’” reply…

To Pastor Rod,
Here is a list of what wives(women)want. This is some of the things I wrote down, what came to mind.If anything seems not Godly or inappropriate. Please let me know. Let me know what you think about this. I know definitely these things will improve marriages in more ways than one. This comes from someone who has been married for 23
years, and has spoken to other women on this subject.

1. Wives want husbands to act on the word of God in their marriages(#1 thing)

2. Wives want to be asked out on a date by her husband (dinner,hiking etc. not movies where you can’t converse) For me dinner since, no cooking, no cleaning up. Husbands make all the arrangements, consider ROMANCE. Remember how you felt when you first started dating, flirted,etc. (at least 2x a month).

3.Wives want to be acknowledged as being important in tne household. (believe me we do a lot in the house to keep it running).

4.Wives want to be looked at by her husband as a woman not just a wife (meaning husbands really look at your wife and see her beauty). Tell her about it frequently.

5.Wives want to be called sweetheart or babe or some sweet thing.(see what happens when you do this)

6.Wives want their husbands to help around the house without being asked. Like, put kids to bed,pick up cups, laundry etc… Especially cook dinner at least 2x a month(think how many years wives have been cooking, do the math).Plan it. *Go grocery shopping at least 1x a month for family ( wives have at least gone groceries so many times especially if married 20 years or more).

You would think after over 22 years of marriage that I would have learned to control my anger when I get frustrated. I can honestly say that there are many times where I blow up at my beautiful Beckie or kids for silly or small, manini-kine reasons.

I’m still learning that I need to…
Look out for:
~ Other things bothering me in life (relationships, work, people that irritate me).
~ Being tired and overworking.
~ Being frustrated within myself, because of myself (failing, falling short of expectations I have of myself)
~ Not getting proper rest
~ Feeling “junk” about myself (looks, comparing myself with others)
~ Not getting adequate exercise
~ Expecting my wife or kids to be or act or live according to “My ways and desires.”

I’d better stop there before I get too down on myself! I’m so thankful for the conviction God gives me in my heart to ask for forgiveness and grace from Him, my Beckie and kids. I am also very-very grateful for their grace and love for me - the imperfect husband and father that I am. My hope is in Jesus, to transform my life…day to day!

Thanks for your unconditional love Jesus… and Honee!

A man wrote me…”My wife is a gossiping woman - she is unloading her problems about other people at work…on ME!”

My response:
You are her shepherd - her spiritual covering and leader. Coach her into spiritual victory. That may mean listening to her so you can pray, assess and advise her in the way of the Lord. Not an easy thing to do when she is grumbling and complaining about others - but this is our responsibility as husbands.

Try not to shut her down, but allow her to talk - hopefully, as freely as she talks, she will freely listen to you as her husband. But if you don’t allow her to vent and talk, you won’t be able to properly guide her towards Christ if she is wrong in any way.

Her talking to you is a good thing. She could be taking her woes, complaints, gossips…outside of your relationship which is not good. Be her coach and overseer. So my counsel…listen, assess…then advise her to live our her faith according to what God desires and requires.

Proverbs 15:23

A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!

If anyone knows me well, it would be my wife of almost 22 years. One thing we wanted to establish early on in our relationship when we started dating, was a genuine candidness that would deepen our growing friendship. We committed to being real, transparent and honest to the core.

I remember when I saw Beckie without make up - her true, unpainted face and hair not sculpted. I whispered to God…”Thanks for Beckie’s original, pure beauty. I was beginning to see and know her inward beauty. She was incredibly sold out to Jesus. But a little test for me, of the unknown, was where my thoughts would wander after seeing Beckie for the first time without make up. Inside, I was like…”yeah God…I like her without make up too!

What is always important in our relationship, is our ability to stay true to our commitment. That our hearts, lives and relationship would run far from the temptation of masking our inner thoughts and feelings. Our relationship has been growing solid because of our desire to not “hide or mask” anything that would hinder our intimacy, purity and oneness!

My Proverbs 31 says of my Beckie…
28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her:

29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you (my Beckie) surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.

You would think since we are going on 22 years of marriage that Beckie and I would be great about living together in unity. Living with me…with my cranky, selfish attitudes flaring up when I’m tired, edgy and loaded with burdens..is not cake walk.

Beckie recently said to me…”We are just on different pages.” I normally mouth off with some sassy answer, but this time I replied; “Different pages - same chapter - same book - same author!” How profound that such words would come from my lips. Beckie smiled. Rather than another little bantering dispute, the Lord spoke to us through my response.

Have you ever felt like you and your spouse were on “different pages?”
My definition of Different Pages: Not seeing eye to eye - not in alignment - having differing goals, perspectives, expectations, agendas - going in opposite directions - just being plain ‘ole DIFFERENT!

You may feel like you and your spouse are two different people, from different planets with different desires, goals and dreams - as if you are on different pages. May I encourage you:

• You are different. You already know that!
• But whom God joined together, let no one separate! The same writer is authoring both your lives!
• God is writing a chapter weaving your distinct personalities and lives!
• Your marriage is part of One Book - to discover, develop and embody His Word through your oneness!

May Ruth’s words be our marital covenant for life:
“Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me.”